Just Like You
by forever banishing sorrow
Summary: Brokenstar reflects on his father, Raggedstar. One-shot.


His kinked tail twitched as he padded through the forest that he had been forced to call home; this lifeless, empty place. His chest ached as he stared up at the tall evergreen trees. How tall were they, and how tall would they become? His ragged amber eyes scanned his surroundings, and he was unable to detect any visitors. He was alone. Finally, he just let the words fall past his lips.

"All I wanted to do was be just like you."

The words had been spoken quieter than expected, and his heart sank. What had happened to him? He had been so confident. With an aching realization, he had realized that he shouldn't have committed these crimes. His sisters and he had wanted to be just like their father. They had wanted to be like every cat in a position of power. Wise, strong, and helpful. They admired Raggedstar the most, but there were others that they enjoyed observing, too; Cloudpelt, Foxheart, Blackfoot. At the thought of Foxheart, he remembered the ginger she-cat. What had happened to her? Was she living happily in StarClan? Though she hadn't really been his mother, he still loved her just the same. And apparently Raggedstar had too at one point, since everyone believed that she was the one who kitted him.

_Raggedstar._

When he had become leader, he felt no regret. He had become leader. He had gotten what he wanted. All those leaders; Cedarstar, his father- were weak compared to him. That was exactly what he had told his mother before she killed him.

His mother. A ragged gray she-cat. Why Raggedstar had been attracted to her was beyond him. Yellowfang was snappy, and she had been a medicine cat. He had been the son of a medicine cat. _Big mistake on your part, Yellowfang, _he thought.

Why should those on Earth be rewarded for their crimes, while some were forced into the dark, like him? Yellowfang was a murderer. Lionblaze was a murderer. Yet they still glared up at the night sky, saying that it was as dark as his heart? They said that Yellowfang and Lionblaze were good. They said that all those who still hunted with their Clan, yet those who had still killed, were good. It was sickening to think about, and it made his stomach churn.

Brokenstar sighed, continuing on. His ears twitched, and he spotted the wall of eerie white light that separated him from StarClan. If only he could cross and ask for redemption. The dark tabby warrior's tail drooped. The pain in his chest had grown larger. What was it?

Tigerstar had told him about love. He had described vividly how he felt about Leopardfoot, Brambleclaw, Tawnypelt, Hawkfrost, Mothwing, and Goldenflower and Sasha. He loved them with all his heart, he had told Brokenstar.

Could he have loved Raggedstar? The relationship between a tom and his kits were the same; go on patrols, come back, play with kits, go on more patrols, then go to sleep. With his father being a leader, it was far more than that. And since his adoptive mother had been so cruel, he had never learned to love. He had never had a mate, never had any kits. Why had he suddenly learned to love and appreciate his father?

The tall, gray dank trees suddenly seemed unfamiliar to him, as if this were uncharted territory. He didn't feel as at home here anymore. It had taken one realization last night; if there had been a yesterday that was. The mist danced around him, and the echoing silence seemed to be taunting him. The sluggish river gurgled, just as his enemies had when blood spurted from their fresh wounds. The sight now made him feel sick, and bile rose in his throat. The cold ruffled his fur, giving him a sense of agony.

Brokenstar continued to stare at the river, unable to see his reflection in its dark waters. _Why…_

"Brokenstar!"

The dark tabby turned around to see a ginger-and-white she-cat crouching in the shadows.

"Mapleshade?"

At being recognized, she crawled out of her hiding place and trotted towards Brokenstar. "Why did you wander off like that? We're in the middle of training for the battle! What has gotten into you?"

He glowered at the older she-cat. "I went for a walk, thank you very much," he snapped.

Mapleshade grunted, turning and trotting away. "I'm keeping my eye on you. You're being strange."

"Strange? What the foxdung are you talking about?"

The eerie silence returned, and he found that the light in the corner of his eye was fading. When he had begun walking, he didn't know. His thoughts soon began crawling back into his mind. Mapleshade had kits. She had a mate at one point. She had experienced love. Brokenstar hadn't, until possibly now.

Did he love Raggedstar?

No, he didn't love his father. The ice suddenly returned, wreathing itself around his heart and sealing an invisible lock. Brokenstar had not wanted to be like Raggedstar. He had wanted to be higher than Raggedstar. He wanted to be higher than everyone.

But that kittypet had ruined everything. And it was all because of Yellowfang. His father should've loved someone else; his mother should've been someone else. He blamed his father. He hated his father.

He absolutely hated his father. He had put him in this situation. He was a part of the Dark Forest; he would feel no pain, and feel no hunger. He was forced to walk through the forest in solitude. He wished he would be forgotten, so that he could fade away, never to face complete darkness again. He didn't want to be in this empty, vast place. He had been forced here because of his ambitions. His ambitions had come from his father being leader. He had wanted to be leader, just because his father had been. His father did this to him. He hated his father. No, Raggedstar was not his father. He had no father.

But he knew that deep in his heart, he did. No cat could walk the earth without the two who brought them in. A cat's parents. Yellowfang and Raggedstar were his parents. Raggedstar was his father.

And he hated his father.

**a/n Did you guys like this? I haven't seen any FanFictions about Brokenstar's feelings about his father, and I thought that that should change :D**

**I will accept all your constructive criticism. That's what reviews are for :D**

**~Scarlet**


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